Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
