ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
