I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
