She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
