college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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