dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
