belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize