Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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