Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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