yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
