He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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