I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
