I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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