I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
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