We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
