Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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