she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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