Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
i drank out of a bidet.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
