he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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