let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
