i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
