I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
