He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You ate ashes out of my bong
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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