I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
