Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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