Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
