so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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