On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
should my penis look like a turkey
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
