How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Randomize
