we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Randomize
