Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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