so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
