6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
