Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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