So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
