I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
