I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
