So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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