do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
