i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
