talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
