We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize