We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
