At least make sure they are 18
Why
i was born a porn star she said
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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