I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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