i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
