I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
