The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
