Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
