I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Randomize
