sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm too high and old for this...
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
