I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
did you just send me my own nude
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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