Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
