Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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