I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Couch. On fire.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize