Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
