Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
my being single is dangerous.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
