I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
