I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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