Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
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