Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
